To you My sweetie

Dear Daniel,

I want you to know I am not letting go. Although sometimes I almost did. But there is just something that keeps me coming back to you. That every time I walk away, something calls me to to turn around. I know you don't want me no more. You don't really have to tell me because it's pretty obvious from your action. I`m writing this not to make you come back or to ask you to come back or to force you to come back. I just want to let you know I will always be here. I just hope you will realize what you have.

"Appreciate what you have, be content because you won't know until you lose it. So stop asking for more." These words made me realize what I HAD until I lost it, till I lost YOU. I hope you won't do the same mistake as I did. I`m not saying it's a bad effect when you lose me, I`m just saying, don't do the same mistake, sit and think, you might realize.

And if you didn't, then it's worth it for you to just set me free and go. Stop keeping me wait, it's either a yes or a no. I did not give you an "I Don't Know" choice so you cannot always give me that. If you are enjoying to see me suffer and if you love watching me in pain, free to just go since you've already taken a lot from me. I just hope you would take me instead of my strength, love, respect, trust and faith.

But I guess you wouldn't. That day will never come. That everything I needed and wanted will never be mine. But I will still be here, loving you. Because I swore my love would remain. I will be air that you breathe, I will give you the strength that you need, I will be the light in your eyes when hope becomes hard to see, I will be your shining star to guide you wherever you are and I promise that I will be by your side. As a friend and if you needed me more than just a friend, I will be there.

Songs

So I woke up with a really bad mood. Because I was still dreaming when a song played. A song that woke me up. The song was "Swear it again" by Westlife. The lyrics just reminded me of him. The sing just made me think of him. The song just made me wish he would sing it to me. Because the words are the exact songs I wanna hear from him. The whole song is just so perfect. And it's making me realize. It is making me think again. I am waiting and my feelings will remain the same. Should I swear it all over again?

Funny but it's the FACT

Just in case you find someone nicer and way better than me, go ahead. I will set you free and I won't stop you. But if ever she let go of you because she found someone else better than you, turn around I will be there...

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And I will tell you "Set her free and don't stop her because it's Karma that is suppose to make you feel guilty of how you made me feel bad about myself.

3 reasons why I smile

This girls is named Christine. My Sayang and my Puppy. She can be the most retard and crazy person around. But not without me. She is the clumsy type, loud but has the most silent thoughts. She has a kind heart and a really naughty character.

Today: So I we went to the toilet to pee and guess what, we always pee together. I meant one cubicle.

If she can pee silently, I CANNOT. Then we went to eat pizza hut with my other two crazy girl friends (Alice and Miya) and my classmates.

This girl with me on the right side is ALICE! My Penguin. My babe. She is as crazy as Christine. She alter decisions and changes mind really fast but later change it back. Naughty, LOUD, funny and crazy. Today: She just kept on laughing while me and Christine were dancing. And she laughed like she hasn't seen anyone danced before.

Now this girl, is named MIYA. My dear. My Cat. She is the most gentle lady I've ever met. She is the totally opposite of Christine. And Alice falls between both of them. And I, well I guess I can either be on the top or middle. I know I won't be in the bottom, Cause I cannot be gentle.

Miya is gentle, kind, and lovely. When she laughes, her eyes disappear. If Christine, Me and Alice are the loud type, Miya is a Silent type. But with us, she is the loudest of all.

These three people are the ones I cannot live without. Before I only had Alice. Then I met Christine then Daniel. I lost Daniel and God gave me a new friend and it's you Miya. God showed me that every time I lost someone doesn't mean I won't get a new one.

You three are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. With all of you, I forget college shit, love problems, house chores and life's crap. With all of you, I can relax, I laugh, I forget things and I am ME. I don't have to pretend. I never have to hide anything. And I feel embarrassed but I felt comfortable with the three of you. As you know, Christine has heard me fart. Miya has seen me eat like a pig and Alice has watched how I sleep.

Without them, I can't even last for a day. It's hard. Friends. I knew what friends are for. To stand up with each other especially when one needs a hand. To comfort each other when the other feels down. To make each other laugh to get over sad things. To love each other when sometimes we don't get it from our own partner. Just always remember none of you will ever feel alone. I meant, we're 4 in this group. Impossible that if one go, the others goes too. 4 of us, always and together until forever. You guys are the reason why I can smile right now. You are the reason why at the most difficult time of my life, I can manage to smile. Thank you!

~The Kucings.

My thoughts and feelings

So days pass by, and I`m still waiting. I will keep waiting until I lost that one reason why I`m still holding on. You (Daniel) know, people tell me, there`s no more left for me, no more reason for me to stay. Because you have moved on, and I can't be forever stuck here waiting because you are not coming back. Let's just say you really aren't coming back, What's wrong with waiting? You MIGHT come back, then it will be worth it than regretting in the end and blaming myself for not giving it a try. Love says if I really want to get something I should fight for it. So I will be right here waiting for you.

How do you expect to forget a person who already lives in you? Daniel, you lived in my heart and mind for one month. How do you and others expect me to forget and go on within 2 weeks?! It's not even 2 weeks yet, 4 days! Torture me, make me suffer, hurt me and watch me in pain, I don't care. Maybe god made you test me and I am testing myself, how far can I go. How far can I fight for you. How strong am I to hold on. They ask me, Why am I so stupid to love someone who doesn't really love me? I answered them, "Neither of us know whether he loves me or not, so stop telling me what to do." Daniel, you gave me the strength to stand up. So I will fight until the end. I won't give up on you unless you give me a reason to. I hope I can show you better than writing all this crap wondering if you will even read it. But at least I pulled out whats in me. It's bothering me, it's tearing me down and it's making me love you more each day. The choice is in you, whether you will take me in your arms again or just let me go. I am not making you choose, but you have to because you can't leave me like this. Not like this. I hope I`m giving you the time you need.

Every time I look up at the sky, I am only expecting to see one thing. A star. A star to grant my wish. I wish there will always be You and I.

You know how crazy I am to wait for your call. For a message from you. Or your presence. Every day I wake up, I wake up with only one thing in my mind. I wake up alone, without you. I just wish someday, you will come and say "I love you" again. Because I am really dying to hear it from you. I miss you. I miss your touch, your hug, your kiss, your warmth, the way you look at me, the way you call my name, the way you take me into your arms, the way you pull me against you and the way you say you love me too.

In Love,

CheLs~