what's happening now??

listening to need you now =)

on facebook, playing nightclub city

inner self thinking about him

outer is pretending i am not...

what is today's topic?

emm~ ...

i don't lie, i know and my friends know i wouldn't recover from this pain, because we all know what im going through. and im sure you all know it would hard to cross the finish line of this race, the race between, *adrenaline rush because of this hidden feeling for him against *confusions in my mind whose trying to pretend nothing is going on.

me, my body, don't even know whose side to take, the mind or the heart? it's him who took over me, who took over control of my body, who took over my mind's and heart's decision. i wanna know why you have to do that? i thought you don't have to do such thing when you love someone. you can only own but not control. god~

(listening to a little too not over you)

this pain living within me, cannot be cure, nor prevent. it is just the so called illness without a cure. it will stay deep down there to slowly kill me, pieces to pieces, step by step, one after another. no one can stop it. it ain't going to float to live, it's gonna shrink to kill. oh god guide me to the right path! am i doing the right thing? am i making the right decisions? am i going to my destined path? have i done something wrong because i just feel there is something wrong. =(

oh~ *sigh*

what i wanted to tell you~

You broke me, you broke my heart,
you broke everything!
You turned my world upside down and inside out,
BUT I know it was worth it for
that one moment of love we had,
it's a shame it went bad..

You walk by me everyday and say hello.
Everyday you take time out to listen to me.
You talk to me, smile at me,
laugh with me, and have fun with me.
Well, I talk, smile and laugh too,
but inside I'm hurting.
Deep down it hurts to be with you because
I love you and you are only a friend.

One day you'll ask me,
"which is more important to you, me or your life"
I'll say, "My life" and you'll go and
leave me with out knowing that you are my life...

it takes a long time for you to say hello to me,

but just a couple of seconds for you to say goodbye.

I dont miss you,
I miss who I thought you were.

I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy,
I’m going to laugh,
so you don’t see me cry,
I’m going to let you go in style,
and even if it kills me
I’m going to smile...

i believed that "The one who broke you,

is the only one who can fix you.."

well it is true right?

I cry for the time
that you were almost mine,
I cry for the memories
I've left behind,
I cry for the pain,
the lost, the old the new,
I cry for the times
I thought I had you

You are always there for me
and so you give me the courage to stand alone.

please,,

until when am i gonna suffer this pain?

i feel like it's a very heavy punishment cause'

it has been a month and a half and until now you're in my dreams

trying to destroy me over and over again

why can't you just let me go?

i meant, set me free from this pain you built in me

i'd rather live my life alone, without you

than living with this pain forever, please

i'm tired, i just wanna have one night to sleep with happiness

and not nightmares about you

i wanna have a life without wasting a tear for you

i wanna have fun without your memories

stop making me love you so much

i'm not a fool for you, and i won't be.

in this game, no one lost because you gave up

this game for two, you cheated

i wanna end this, so please let me, and make it happen~!