Finding what Unknown Is (Originally written by Joshua Goh)

Unknown has always been a mystery, but discoverable. I wake up on my couch. Oh lord the couch. The only sense of security I have left. I wouldn't leave the couch. I am stalwart to this piece of furniture. My unbridled loyalty to this one couch. Everything else is a blur to me. I got up. I get to the fridge. What is there to eat ? The box labelled "Life" is empty, so are the can of "Dreams" and my last packet of "purpose". Well atleast there is still some "Survival" left. Survival, little syringes of energy to carry on my journey to this unknown. Holes and holes from these needles on this pale skin of mine. I look out the window of my windmill. Grey and faint. Rain and Grim. The sky is open, clear of the castles and clouds that float above.

I put on my cleanest dark blue Thomas Reed and my gritty gas mask. My revolver, whom I have sworn to in the name of holy matrimony. I get out . Blank. What was I to conceptualise? To whom do I receive directions from? I carried myself out of my windmill. My sanctum.To seek the Unknown. I walk towards the trees. I see nothing but snow and wood. Towards the rise of the morning sun.

This Unknown annoys me. It teases my senses with misdirection and mystery.To neglect whatever needs my mind and body demands, all for this mystery. I venture till the forest had reached it`s end of dead trees and grey skies. The edge of a new cliff I stand on now. Only to anticipate adrenalinal action.

Tap tap tap. A finger on my shoulder. "Good Sir, have you any bullets?" she asked. Long flowing hair.Eyes of endless staring into mine, only to see the exact same thing. A missing piece of the beating mechanism. Yes dear, you can take my bullets. I have 6 but you take 5. Thank you sir. My apologies for doing so. There`s nothing to apologize about. Not about the bullets sir. For this punch that I will inflict.

She hit me.Straight on my face, and as of now, I do not stand on solid ground anymore, as I now am falling into the Emerald Waters.

My eyes stared only to hers, as I fell to these waters. She burns me. Like the Sun.

&& To be continued...

Slowly killer...

They ask me, "are you in a relationship?" I said I don't know. And they reply me, "Oh, well it looks like you're single."

Is it that obvious that he doesn't care much of me? And the angel that God sent to take care of me while my bf ain't around also don't care about me anymore. It's slowly killing me deep inside. Is there any way in existence that I could use to run away from it? I'm tired, honestly. I just wanna break away from everything.

Or, is there any pain killers for a broken heart that's aching? Or maybe a solution of Numbness in the heart so I won't feel a thing? I'd like to know. Because without both of them, it just hurts, every second of every minute of every hour or everyday! Is this a game? Can I give up? Can I press 'Quit' so it'd be game over? It's killing me softly which hurts more than usual.

Back to Back.

Let's say, you did not talk to me because I did something that you hate and it hurt you badly. Why would you now come up to me after 3 months and saying Hi?

Is it because you have moved on and just wanted to be friends? If it is, I'm cool with it. Because I already left those memories - bitter ones, way back to my past. I'm just happy my old friend came up to me and making friends again. Just so glad that you came back, I promise I'll make it up to you even if I have to do it for all my life.

Thank you!

&& Chels.,

A brand new day : quite fun?

Ha! It's my sister's birthday today, people are coming over. So it's an awesome excuse to run away from my horrible emotions that's killing me. Although my day started really badly, I'll try to keep everyone busy, especially me!

well, Reg (the #1) said "I'll send you a message if I am online." and yet, still haven't received any. What sucks, he didn't even sent me a good morning message, nor How are you message. Quite enthusiastic huh? It's mean! Isn't it? How would you feel when your boyfriend did not even sent you anything to let you know he is still alive. I hated it, so much, unforgivable. Oh, I'm ready to pick up a fight.

And guess what? #2, (Oliver), said, "My girlfriend found out that I like you." Woah! I'm scared now, that girl may come any minute and start shouting at me. But, I ain't scared, I'm doing nothing. It's her man who likes me. ( LoL) But somehow, I think I like him too. It's stupid to say, not being really bitchy to my Boyfriend, but I have reasons why.

Reasons:

- Oliver was there when Reg wasn't.

- Oliver talked to me when I needed someone and Reg is not there.

- Oliver cheered me up when Reg couldn't.

- Oliver set me as #1 while I was #2 for Reg.

- Oliver stopped what he loves doing for me while Reg chose Basketball over me for a DAY!

- Oliver did what Reg didn't.

I'm not comparing, it's a fact. I'm so sorry Reg, I love you too much to let you go, but it hurts too much to stay. But I'll stay, because I'm choosing you, because I chose you. Even you love basketball and your friends more than you love me. I've been really upset lately, but I'm trying to hide it to avoid fight, but you just know me so well. Which hurts for me, because you know when there's something wrong, you know what's going on to me, but I don't know a thing to you, I don't know what's going on to you. How do you expect me to smile when you don't let me in into your world?

Oliver and Me, Cam-night :)

completely different...

things started to be completely different. he usually spend his time on basketball and something else. And i'm left all alone in one side. I wonder, did he even noticed me waiting for decades, and ages for him. Even though he text me, i still fell sad and i don't know why. He noticed once, but he dint care. I don't know now what to do.

things are starting to be different again. A new person coming in? Pssh, what to do?