the break up and regrets~

theres always gonna be another challenge to go through...

another problem to solve...

another person to love and hate...

another person will come to break your heart...

how can people just come by and leave without goodbyes?

are goodbyes really that hard to say?

i admit,

it hurts to say goodbye?

but why get hurt if it's already a goodbye?

my world falls apart every time i receive goodbyes...

the problem is, i always get them...

and i am tired of falling apart and getting my @SS back up~

sometimes i just want to give up, give in and forget it

but i realized when i once tried, it's hard

no matter what i still have to move on and be strong

but before that, i gotta let go something

gotta forget something which is not worth it

i've learnt my lesson

never fall back, keep moving

coz if you stay behind, you'll be left alone

i've felt being alone

waited for BU**$h!T,,

even a Sh!T did not come

he dumped me for not a good-enough reason

of all things in life

i hate being dumped and used

it feels like he used me

rumors were spread after the break up

people said it was just a dare for him to get a girl

and i am stupid enough to be his victim

i don't wanna hate him

but something makes me...

it ain't my fault anymore right?

sometimes i wanna look back at the times

times when we were really happy

and felt like nothing will go wrong

well guess what,

those moments and times were burned to hell together with him

oh FU*K man~

i don't wanna talk about him anymore..

his lost anyways, why should i care?

right? hehe... ^^

end of topic..

-..........................................-

the questiions... guys vs giirls~

how can guys easily like us?

how can they easily hurt us?

how can they easily move on?

on the first day,

they always say i really love you so much

why in the end they say "not anymore?"

can they feel something?

if edward is soul-less...

are mortal guys heart-less?

why does guys hurt our feelings?

why do they break up and give a not-so-good enough reason?

how guys make us believe them easily?

are we really that stupid?

or guys who makes us stupid?

how should we know they are devoted to us?

are they telling the truth?

are they honest, at least for one moment?

how can they decide really fast?

how can they change their mind in one snap?

how can guys say I LOVE YOU?

and how can they BREAK OUR HEART?

NATALIE LAM

my NATALIE LAM

my vanilla cake with cherry =)

wahaha ^^

my crush's sister...

my cuddly cutiie friiend... xP

she lurves BLACK...

=) very much~ hahaha

and she loves annoying her bro...

come back...

your feelings were gone

you're not happy with me

but that ain't a good reason to leave

i did not know what to do

to get you back

i did everything for you

but why did u left?

my feelings for you ain't gonna change

if you could hear the music in my heart

singing that i love you

like the world never stops turning

i'll never get tired of loving you

and like this river never stops flowing

this feelings will have no end

our memories kept coming back

moments when we were happy

even your face still shows up in my dreams

why did you leave me?

our good times ended only when you left

its you who put an end to our love story

why? give me a good reason

a reason that you are not happy

is not good enough

turn around and you'll see the truth

and when you see me

do not deny you still do!

p,s. i still love you...

dear ---.

if you still read my blog. this is for you.
i know i made a mistake, i hope you know how much i want to undo things. i never wanted that to happen. i never wanted to let you go, but it's you who made the decisions, as i wrote down there, "your decisions, my answer", if that is your choice, i cant do anything. as you know, i made a vow, a vow that i would never ever break. if i had to live with it forever, i would. because i promised myself not to break any of my promises anymore.

it's hard for me to move on and get on, but i know i have to... its just im scared to accept the fact that it would be easy to move on from the time i'll learn how to forget you. but the truth is, you're still inside. i dont know whether you're coming out or not. if i can make the choices and decisions, i would never want you to come out. you have everything i want to a guy, you gave me all the things i need. for me, you're perfect. im trying to show you im happy for you. well i want you to know its not easy. and im faking. i cant help it.

i know, after you read this, you wont feel sorry or decide to take me back. instead of all that, you'll wish that i could get over you. i wonder how much tears i've cried out, i wanna stop but it's not my fault anymore if it choses to come out. i want to remind you the first day we got together. you told me, you'll never let me go whatever happens. you'll understand me. you'll love me for who i am. but it's ok, i guess you've forgotten that, but i forgive you for breaking my heart. you don't know how many stars i wished on just to have you back. and i'll never get tired on wishing million times, i know one day, one day they'll grant it. coz i promised you i'll never give up, and i'll prove them that i can keep that promise.

that book i always tell you tells me the truth. the book said:
"you'll face the wheel of love, now that you succeed the wheel of life, you enjoyed one month or two on top, suffer now that your going down, don't worry, love comes round."
well i hope it'll come round back on top, back to the times when you were mine. you don't know how much i miss you, coz i know you wont miss me even though you're heart does. when i said i cannot survive without you, i meant it. and i feel like dying now. it's just the 3rd day apart from you. apart i meant, our hearts completely separted. i cannot accept the fact that you're gone. i have so much more to write but... it'll be a waste if you wont read it.

wish i can stop now. stop everything or put on hold. even the feelings i have now, i wish i could put it on pause for atleast 5 mins. coz i really cant get over you. believe me, i want to move on. something holds me back, asking me to wait... should i???



p,s. i still love you...




love,
chels~

=(

i still love you

please come back

everything was made to be broken....

never expected this to happen
=( i never want this to happen~!!!!!!!!!!
you know i love you
how could you let me down?
i trusted you.
how could you do this to me?

well before i let you go
let me say one more time
that i love you
but after today,
everything will change
did not want to let you go
it's just that i have to

for the last time
i just want you to know who i am
if you misunderstood
i am sorry
not my fault...
i still love you, but i gotta stop

i'll be waiting for nothing
hoping, wishing
will try to forget everything.