been two days...

and after reading one site on the net

about how to move on..

gawd, i'd say its pretty awesome..

and it does work.

look at me now,, hehe..finally feeling free.

no more distraction, free to love. hehe ^^

haiz, i can't believe someone on the net

could help me get over a jerk.

xP next time, when i have my heart broken,

i'll count on you!

thank you so much~ means a lot to me.

goodbyes~

saying goodbye isn't the hard part, it's what we leave behind that is tough. goodbyes makes you think. they make you realize what you've had, what you've lost and what you've taken for granted. sometimes you have to let go of someone to see if there's anything to hold on to. i don't wanna wake up and realize what i was dreaming was right in front of my shut eyes. i don't wanna stop saying hello for fear of saying goodbye. don't want to leave but we both know sometimes it's better to go. somehow i know we'll meet again, not quite sure where and i don't know just when. you're in my heart so until then, i wanna smile and cry saying goodbye.

My Destiny - Jim Brickman (with lyrcs)

unfair~

ah,,another new day has come. another new story to deal with, another thing to do, another problem to solve. when is it ever gonna finish? or when is it gonna give me a break?

i'm tired of dealing with the heart that you broke, i'm tired fixing it back. how can i? when it decided to stay broken? when we were together, love was the greatest give ever i've received.

but now that you're gone, love was just another word i'm not meant to learn.

i stopped everything i started when we live and laugh as one, now i don't know how will i start again when i don't know my path. you said you own me, my heart and my soul. i deeply thought you meant those words, but i just realized those words weren't yours. i never regret meeting you, because somehow i've learned something for you. in this game you started, i did not lose and you did not win. it was just given to both of us to learn how long can be weak from strong and low from high. because those days i spent with you, wasn't enough for me to treasure. i miss it, i know i'm not suppose to and i'm not suppose to wish i can turn back the time. it's forbidden in my city - unforgettable pain villa. it's hard, i'm tired, i wanna stop but i just can't. something hold me back, why can't they just let us go? from the time you left me, i couldn't look at other guys, i couldn't like them, no matter how cute or handsome they are. my heart is like dead, i can't feel anything, except the pain that you left. why can't i have my freedom? what's the price of breaking my heart? huh? you think you'll get a better girl because you've dated me? you think girls are impressed? No! you gave love a bad name, no one will appreciate you, only me.. because i had appreciate, and i still do. i don't wanna say the words i have in my mind. i don't wanna be declined for the 5th time. so i'll shut up and wait.

how can you offer me the moon, stars, sun, clouds. when you can't even give me your heart? how can you love me when you can barely look at me after a mistake you did? how can you not give me another chance when you can forgive? how? why? i don't understand, it's unfair.

my recent love story...

he was the only person i liked for a very long time, ever since i entered my 2nd year high school in a new college, i started admiring him. it is because he is funny, lovely, friendly and very attractive. but his friends told me he is not the boyfriend material for girls like me. since he doesn't know i like him, i took the opportunity to get to know him better with his friends help. but not until the chance is given to me. when i went up to 3rd high school, it happened i was in the same class with all his closest friends. and one day, one day... he joined my class. i became closer with his friends and to him as well. the first mistake i did was letting myself get closer to him while i'm pulling myself away from my friends. as time go by, slowly his friends were trying to tell me it's time for him to know, but i don't know why they said that so. during our sports day rehearsal, i caught him twice or more looking at me. although it was not the first time. there was a part where he held my hand to help me get up. his friends were all teasing us. and i think he figured it out. right after the sports day, his friends told me as soon as i came inside the class that he liked me as well, i was shocked because he was there too, and his friends did not know. but all i felt was anger, embarrassment and curiosity. i did not get to see his reaction because i ran away. but deep inside i was happy. so we started talking to each other, and texting each other. we became really close. i became the person "he always ask for notes he missed out" and he 'became the person "i always ask for homeworks when i'm not around" his friends, became my bestfriends and my friends became his friends and formed one group just to keep us together. but not until we moved up to 4th year, we got separated again. but then, we're always together. my friends told me its time for him to know what i feel for him too. so i told him and things started to change. like the way he calls me, the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me and the way he smile at me. but then after 1 month, he broke my heart. i guess i made another mistake and that is not knowing one thing about him. he is not trustworthy of anyone's heart. his friends told me so, i did not listen. i thought i changed him. i did, temporarily.

the book of love...

the book of love comes in many important sections

the cover

the contents

the introduction

the prologue

the body and story

the conclusion

the lesson

in this book we will learn some rules, advices and lessons after love, during love and future love.

so please read it with feelings and understand =)

*the cover

the before you love somebody,you should know who the person really is. Get to know him/her better than everyone does. this sentence explains about the cover of the person you will love. if you don't follow this first rule, you will end up to the end with regrets. (trust me) so if you broke this rule before, don't ever try breaking it again, because chances don't come around like lovers do. alright?

*the contents

this chapter should explain you the different contents of the person. you should know his/her characteristics, actions, purpose and all. before you make the first move, don't ever try if you don't know whether this person truly loves you. and my advice for you here, never ask but observe and how will you do that? try hanging out with that person to see it with your own eyes and never believe to other voices only your hearts...

*the introduction

as soon as you found out the two rules, now is the time to introduce yourself to that person. your inner characteristics and actions. why? because he/she might not like you if they found out when you and that person is already going out. so this chapter explains you your turn to be observed by that person. he/she will have to know you better and wisely. so take the chance.

*the prologue

if that person accepted you for who you are and you accept that person with all your heart. you two are ready to make your own path to the story of love. in this chapter, you will have to enjoy the little things. and wait till you get lucky.

*the body and story

in this chapter, it includes the, hook up, going out, date, love, kissing, holding hands, laughing, hugging, anniversary and happiness. but if there's joy, there should be sorrow. so it also includes, the fights, misunderstanding, crying, ignoring, missing each other, apologies, and break up. in this chapter, everything happens. the whole story of your love. and when the break up came, that means, you made a mistake somewhere up there. so it's your problem to solve what is it and how will you do again to make it right. my advice, don't go back to where you went. just continue and don't do the same thing.

*the conclusion

this chapter should explain to you, how you regret, how much you want to undo things and how much you want the person back. this rule's advice is, move on and heal yourself, if you want to undo things, don't! it's not worth it. not at all... because that person won't come back to you unless he/she really wants you. i think in this chapter, you'll realized you made a mistake in the contents part. you did not get to know him well.

*the lesson

the lesson of the story. i'll give you an advice by giving you an ironic pick up line.

"and ex is called ex because he/she is an EXample of you should not get in the future."

so don't try to catch him/her back. move on.

written and created by,

chels.

p.s~ i'll tell you a story a little later. its about the book of love too, and my mistakes. =) catch it later, thank you.~

`` LaTeSt EdiTed PhoTo ``

today...

cutiie-licious =) wahaha

today was a very cool day...

saw my crush ^^ LoLx,,

was so excited,

i jumped from my place

i think he noticed.. @.@
hehe,, =) anyways,,

uploaidng new pics..

this week's best photo.. is that ~>

answer to those question of an innocent girl like me and my friend =(

BECAUSE....

WE STILL LOVE THE FOOL~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

questions of an innocent girl after a fool broke her heart...

why do i care?

why do i miss him?

why do i feel excited when i hear his name?

why do i feel hurt when i'm not suppose to?

why do i feel like crying when i know i'm strong?

why do i always think about him when i don't want to?

why do i feel like crying when i have moved on?

why do i always check on him?

why do i look for him?

why do i think about him at night?

why do i miss his kisses and hugs?

why do i feel love when he doesn't love me at all?

why do i feel so weak every time i see him?

why do i feel sad when i think about our memories?

why do i feel so affected?

why do i feel incomplete?

why do i feel like crying when i listen to songs that reminds me of him?

why do i talk to his friends about him?

why do i care about how he is?

why do i ask my friend whether he like somebody else?

why do i add him again after i deleted him?

why do i feel broken when i see his name?

why do i feel so curious about where he is?

why do i feel like killing him?

why do i feel like i have moved on?

why do i think about him coming back?

why do i still wish he'd come back?

am i pretending?

am i right?

did i made the right choice?

am i over him?

am i sure?

oh my god?

do i still love him?

am i crazy?

does he still love me?

PleaSe

being apart from you is really hard

but for every day i spent without you

i feel so lost and far away from you...

if only you know how much it hurts...

you would understand

for every minute i thought of being with you

i lose hope that you'd still be mine

im sorry but i think this is the best

the best for both of us...

i have let you go, i have forgiven you

but i don't understand why i couldn't forget you

i know, i have taped my broken heart

but why do i feel incomplete?

i admit, until now i still hope you'd come back

but how on earth will you do that?

you barely talk to me.

i don't know whether you still think about me

i'm sure you haven't let me go completely

please, i'm begging you

LET ME GO

i want to be free, and

every time i realize you're in my mind

it feels like my heart is burning

stop turning my heart into ashes and into nothing

it still have a reason to beat

to beat for someone else so please,

set me free~!!!

wat a bad day~

weew...

by listening to fall for you by secondhand serenade,,

something just popped inside my mind to write about... =)

woot.. so here i go again~

haiiz, today... 8th august...

so many things happened,,

*i played guitar at the balcony while watching the rain drops

*i watched a movie but my mind is somewhere else (never realized,not until now)

*i erased something i wrote on the wall last december... (=.=)

*i saw someone unexpectedly (but i was happy)

*my brother's friend confessed to me though i met him 2 weeks ago (wak)

*my cousins fought and what the hell, i got scolded~

*out of electricity and it was raining like shit...

*my aunt gave birth, so i hurriedly went to the hospital

*came home late and no one let me used computer... (well now everyone's asleep)

*mom get angry at my sis and i get scolded again (wth?)

*had 30 bucks credit for 3 days, and when i planned to sms anjellyne, just got a news she lost her phone

* and when i smsed tash, dang~ my credit got expired... (fuck)

*finally on facebook, IM BORED

*and now on blog, I GOT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WRITE!!!!!!!!!!

-----------------end of discussion-------------------

Baby~

what a day..

a new baby has come.. =)

welcome to the family Meyelle Paulaine ^^