Why after reading that post, I had second thoughts. Why after reading that post, suddenly I wasn't sure anymore. Can someone tell me why. I'm confused even though I know I should not be. At that moment, things turned out to be different and unexpected. Honestly, I was affected. I actually thought, he meant ME. But people said, it can be anyone. But why do I feel this? Is it, by any chance, it could be me?
I wanna know so badly who it was meant for. And I don't know why. It's crazy and stupid, but it's how i felt it. The past started to take over my mind and I've been thinking about him and just him all night. It took me 2 hours to get myself to sleep. Why do I have to see it? Why now? Why can't it be tomorrow or some other day? I suddenly missed him and forgot what's going on. I suddenly realized that I still do. I din't wanna believe, I din't wanna accept it. But it's the fact and I can't do anything to change it. Is this what they called FATE? Is this MY fate? I hope not. I don't wanna go back to old life, because I was half dead letting go of it. It almost killed me, and who would want to go back to a miserable life? Well it turned out to be a miserable one, but I actually miss it. Although deep inside, my most memorable memories was built in my most fearless, miserable life. But I won't risk again just to have another good memories. But I'd definitely go back there if only that moment can give me perfect and good memories.
So I'm asking one last time, give me a sign God. Tell me or show me what I have to do to send my conscience to peace. I need to know, don't you think?
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