Things we can't explain

There are a lot of things we - humans - cannot explain. We couldn't explain because we couldn't find the right and exact words or sometimes we just don't understand. "They" said those things that we couldn't explain our the things only the inside part of us could.

My story:

I am a very good thinker. As in I will just keep quiet and start thinking. In my mind, it seemed like i tried communicating with my own heart. Every little things that come into my mind, seriously my mind will start functioning and think and think and think. And honestly, the results will always come negative. Always negative. I don't know why.

Like now, I don't understand myself. I feel there is something wrong. But I can't think what could it be. (The heart will never ever work with the mind - they are always against each other) But I know, it's something bad, something not good. Should I confront this feeling? Right now, there is something in my mind. But as I said, it is always negative. And yes it is negative, and guess what, I'm thinking that maybe he don't love me. Thinking about it makes me cry. And I don't want to think about it, but it's stuck there. It's like my mind is only functioning because that thing is running around my mind.

Thinking about it makes my heart feel so heavy. It's like there's a cement block on top of my heart. *damn* I hate this kinds of feelings. It seriously kills me and it can easily tear me down. Tear me down like shit. Knock out in 2 seconds. I feel so tired, like i ran for 1000 miles non-stop. I can't stop thinking too much! *Urgh*

What to do? I already forgot what to write. Because THAT thing took over my whole brain. And my whole brain is thinking about it. *holyshit* I just feel like crying right now. I just feel so lonely. I can't explain this feeling. And I`m scared to ask that maybe the answer and respond may be not good. That's why I never confront. I never talk it out. I just keep it inside me. I just feel it alone. Go through it alone. And I am now.

- Teardrops on my guitar -